so i've made it to the mid-point of the masters course. not with a triumphant stride, unfortunately, but rather in a manner akin to desperate clawing.
i've learnt so much about myself this past year; perhaps too much, too soon. at times it felt like i was being riddled repeatedly with merciless shots of self-revelation. there was no time to react, to breathe.
did i want to give up along the way? there were moments that i did. the gashes of discovery made facing tomorrow just a little harder; but there was also the inherent promise that the future would be brighter, far brighter, after the wounds are mended.
the unexpected rawness of the experience still smarts inside. the elation and agony, the confusion and clarity, the strength and frailty are all enmeshed into a strange, yet familiar, dull throb. how long will this ache sustain itself, i wonder?
everything around me is changing so swiftly. is that because i am falling? there is nothing to hold onto in this roaring space. how do i learn to embrace this rushing vastness without fear?
the countdown to the second leg of the journey has begun. i still have much to do.
for months, i'd been anticipating the moment when the final assignment is completed and sent.
the door to my cage will swing open as freedom waves her hand in joyous welcome.
the moment inevitably and gloriously arrives; the first thing i do is step unceramoniously into wet cement.
what can i say? the prodigal klutz returns.
in an honest moment of spontaneity, i've acquired the spanking new nickname of 'mad dog'.
kids say the darnest things. good thing i kinda like it.