the only constant is change

You don't know how it makes you look - your brow furrowed in an eternal knot, the flash of anger at everything and everyone as you seeth comfortably in your private cauldron.

You allow nothing to penetrate. Sealed and secure, your heart is amored with poison-tipped reflexes that with every word or touch you repel every nuance of warmth and love.

You can't bear to glance within - you wouldn't be able to recognise your own reflection anymore for you have lost yourself completely underneath your hardened layers of fear and suspicion. It is less painful to patrol behind your barricaded soul for a chance to strike at those who are vulnerable and true.

You hate the way the world looks at you with surprise, then pity. But more than that, you hate to be alone, but you can't comprehend your own unspoken choice.

You don't know the way home anymore.

The creative geniuses at Apple have recently launched their latest baby - the iPod Nano - an impossibly thin and gorgeous flash mp3 player that, mildly put, blows all existing competition out of the proverbial water.

I managed to get my grubby hands on one and just went starry-eyed over this little technological marvel oozing limitless style with its glossy veneer and wafer thin body. This is the undisputed new supermodel of the technological world, folks! She's here to relish her long reign and she ain't no bimbo either.

I can't think of another institution that personifies the perfect marriage between style and substance quite like Apple. Every single MP3 player you can name looks bloatedly obese and/or crudely hideous next to this sleek beauty. The other companies will be flogging their R&D engineers ragged to match Apple's newest pride and joy.

Of course this is not to say the Nano is the epitome of sheer perfection. There is a big price to pay for all that sveltness. For one, its feature set is not as strong as it could be with the omission of FM radio and voice recording. Battery life is unspectacular for a flash-based music player and it's definitely fragile.

But just look at it! Or better yet, hold it. How can one not fall madly in love? *blissful sigh*

Well, one can resist the charms of the Nano only if there's another truer love. Despite my ardent adulation, I, for one, will actually not be purchasing the much-vaunted Nano. That's because I have my eye firmly cast on the Sony offering - the Playstation Portable (PSP). Sure it's a hulking behemoth next to the Nano, but the PSP plays high-quality games, has expandable memory to include playing movies and music in its arsenal and even allows users to surf the web. How's that for a basic feature set?

So in the enlightening glow of the PSP's amazing capabilites, I will gladly sacrifice cool points for pure unadulterated and geeky glee.

(Adoring pics to follow once I get my very own PSP - watch this space)

Hello, hello. Sorry about the long absence - I was struck down with the sniffles since last Wednesday and couldn't muster much inspiration to post anything other than lurid details of my clogged nose and the massive number of tissues I've used up. And since most of you wouldn't have a pressing need to live vicariously through my ordeal, so I thought, why make you suffer?

Thankfully, I'm almost completely mended after days of just sleeping and sleeping. That in itself was a nice treat if not for the fact that I had to keep waking up to expel the icky stuff. You know what I'm talking about.

So what next? Frankly, I don't really know myself. I'm just rambling today and seeing where it will take me. Sometimes it's nice to just let your thoughts meander on a little journey. It happens a lot to people on bus/train rides, while waiting in line at the famous *insert random local fare* stall and in medical clinics. You can always tell from the vacant expression on their faces that life is much better somewhere else.

Today my blank look is caused by the fact that my nose is severely chapped from all the uncouth blowing over the past few days which therefore makes smiling a stingingly needless feat. So don't be surprised if I seem surly because it's only to protect my nose and not directed personally at you.

Speaking of smiling, there's a recent debate going on now about the quality of customer service on our fair isle. Consumers fume that they don't receive stellar service with a smile (yes, of course, I'll gladly fly around the moon for you, Sir!), and service staff wail that customers are rude and demanding (You don't have star-shaped wine glasses in this restaurant? I am a paying customer, you know!? I want to see your manager!).

They are both right, of course.

Does anyone remember the Courtesy Campaign we had many, many, many (I should stop now) moons ago? I was a kid then and there was a song for it, too: 'Courtesy is for free, courtesy is for you and me!' Imagine that! We had to have a campaign to promote basic courtesy among ourselves! Why can't people be naturally polite and cordial to one another? Is that so much of a stretch to regard a fellow human being with some respect?

That campaign should have run a little longer, say, 20 years.

A smile is supposed to beget a smile; and I don't mean the kind that looks like the baring of fangs. I had to learn that while studying overseas. In our culture, when a smile is expected, then you don't feel a need to return one. That's pretty sad since a warm smile is the first step to establishing a relationship between customer and service staff. In other words, it works both ways.

Having slogged in a restaurant before I understand some of the challenges of customer service so I always try my best to be gracious and appreciative of those in this difficult line. Of course there will always be the proverbial bad egg lurking around, ready to give you a stink of a service that permeates your day. Well, just move on but keep smiling!

Unless, of course, you have a good excuse not to. Like me. *genuine cyber grin*

Oh my gosh, I've finally been called up by the ultra secret assasination agency I secretly work for and my secret assignment this time is to answer a pertinent question posed by 5-in-1 or face possible revoking of all my buffet rights!

Guess I have no choice.

The assignment, as narrated to me by a husky female voice both alluring and menacing at the same time, is to list 5 of my quirks here and also to tag 5 other people that I know on their blogs and read them their rights, erm, I mean, pass the assignment to them too.

Basically this is MLM, but if you don't know what it is, don't worry, you wouldn't care anyway.

For the record, I actually don't know 5 other people who own blogs (maybe I do but I'm just oblivious to the fact that they do cool stuff like blog). The blogs I do read (or lurk on, to be precise) are by strangers from halfway around the world so I can't very well pop up out of nowhere with a 'please list your 5 quirks' assignment to them. In fact, I didn't even know until a few revelatory moments ago that 5-in-1 even had a blog (or journal, as hers is called).

I think that means I've failed that part of the assignment but I'll do my best to soldier on.

Ok so let's see. Quirks of mine? I can't seem to focus on any. It's either I don't have any because I'm such a normal regular kinda guy or I'm one huge walking quirk unto myself . Obviously I can't be the former so I'll just have to tediously break down the big lunk of amalgamated quirks that make up fascinating me and pick out the winning 5.

This might take a while... *smirk*

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Quirk 1:
Not sure if this qualifies as a quirk but I'm a huge stickler for punctuality. I try my best to enforce that in my own life though, obviously, unexpected things crop up at times and mess up my schedule. I hate to be tardy myself and will sometimes consider skipping an event totally than to face the humiliation of being labelled punctuality-challenged.

However, I think I'm very reasonable when it comes to others keeping me waiting, but I do get extremely riled by chronic and nonchalant late-comers who breeze in with their best smiles, don't offer any apologies and explanations whatsoever, and then look as though it's totally expected of the world to revolve around them and their inability to read a clock face!

I get very worked up when thinking or talking about people who make persistent late-coming their signature move. My thought process (or speech) doubles in velocity, voice goes up about an octave and I get launched into murderous mode.

In other words: late = bad.

Quirk 2:
I like the things I own to be in pristine condition. I'm the kind who polishes all my leather stuff like shoes, pencil cases, bags...etc, buys screen protectors for my phones and washes my clothes in laundry bags.

I don't think I'm overtly obsessive-compulsive about it though, but I do hate it when someone borrows something from me and it's returned in an obviously roughly-used state. For instance, if books I lent out are returned with folded dog ears or creases on its cover, I'd probably just tell the person to keep it.

Like I said, I don't lose much sleep over this, but I just try to maintain my possessions as best that I can.

Quirk 3:
Lunch has just been served which conveniently brings me to this next quirk: I loathe squeaky string beans!

Nothing literally gives me the chills and creeps more than biting into a squeaky string bean. It becomes impossible for me to chew and I get a major goosebump attack. The feeling is just plain horrible.

Quirk 4:
For the longest time, I have had a penchant for formulating dumb phrases and words serving primarily for my own warped amusement.

Like if something goes awry I'd utter 'te knuah' or 'tau pok'...etc. There are many others but I shall refrain from mentioning them here for your own protection and sanity.

It's a whole lot funnier in mandarin (or dialect, depending) so I won't attempt to translate them here because it'll make me look fit for the asylum right away.

Anyway, this is usually something that people don't always get and I'd be quickly categorized under "creature who is strange but harmless", or "cretin to avoid at all costs in and outside of dark alleyways".

Quirk 5:
Ok, the last one. Sigh, one fine day I know I'm going to really regret having bared my soul like this.

I'm also very fond of interjecting my statements with appropriate sound effects. Any kind of sound can potentially be added to my repertoire provided it's not crass or insulting to anyone one at that particular moment in time.

I particularly do it most often when alone (go figure!) and have less chance of strangers and friends fleeing from me in fright. I won't give any examples here, but if you do know me and hang out with me (either by choice or not) you might want to take note of this.
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Ok so here they are. Man that was a tough assignment to start, but once the floodgates were open, gosh, they just kept falling out. There's so much more to...er, I mean, that's all I could scrounge up so don't ask me anymore quirky questions!

Yay! I love Mondays because it's one of those 'anything goes' kind of day.

I woke up late to dreary rainy skies, skimmed the papers and helped my mom a little with some back-breaking housework before making my way to town. Fortunately the weather had cleared up by the afternoon so it was nice and sunny out.

It always amazes me how many people are out and about at the malls on Mondays. Monday is a work day! I mean, do they fill up malls for a living during the week? I sure want that job!

*hurridly flips to classifieds and scans for mall-filler openings*

Aww, no one is hiring right now. Darn!

So anyway, at Seiyu (Bugis), I foraged the racks of over-priced fabrics before discovering the bargain section. Woo hoo! I grabbed 3 shirts which I thought were interesting and tried them on.

Only one fit nicely. The other two had a weird cut which bunched the material up around my shoulders making me look like Snow White in her famous puff sleeves outfit so I quickly burned them to save someone else from mistakenly paying for them. Just kidding, actually it was because of my 'if-I-can't-wear-it-then-no-one-else-can' philosophy. Just kidding again, of course! So can you guess which shirt I ended up buying?

I caught a so-so monster movie after that with Dino - the Cave. It was ridiculous and not very scary either. It's one of those B-grade shows featuring highly attractive people getting chased and picked off by highly blurry creatures in a dark confined space. Also, the cinema seats were stiff and uncomfortable; you know the kind that makes your butt fall sound asleep. A plus point, however, was that the sound system was very good. We went to the always interesting Sim Lim Square after that where Dino sourced for a budget computer for a client and we hailed a cab back home.

While in the long and jerky cab ride home, I decided to snap some night shots from out the window which I hoped would result in some fascinating textures and psychedelic lines of light art. So here are a few of them which I hope you'll enjoy.





Yes, pointless, I know, but you have to admit they're pretty cool, right?

So actually the day wasn't totally bummed away - guess I need to work harder on my technique :)

I devoted all of 3 posts to the 'FTK' concert, right down to the last excruciating moments of planning and frenzied preparation, so I guess I should wrap it up lest any of you unwittingly mistakes my silence for trauma.

As far as the actual performance went, I thought it was ok. Considering that most performances don't usually reach the level normally achieved during rehearsals, I'd say that it was about right. Sure there were plenty of instances where lyrics were fudged, timing was messed up and harmonies were dubious, but I think the strength of our presentation this time lay in the overall quality of the combined script and songs.

My playing was, thankfully, spot on for the most part, except for some 5 horrifying seconds when I was distracted by a hovering cameraman and lost my place on the score. However, I was especially glad that the sections which I practiced hard on turned out well and I couldn't have asked for a better reminder that I need to start lessons proper real soon!

I'm very thankful for the way things turned out before, during and after the event. As usual, the church-members and friends were helpful beyond expectations, arriving early and gladly lending a willing hand wherever needed. The rooftop reception was nicely set up with everything all ready by the time the concert was over, and just as efficiently cleared and put away as the last guests trickled out.

Thank you so very much! *muack* I love you all!

By now, most of you would know that the 'FTK' concert is less than 30 hours away. There are a zillion things to take note of and I'm running my nerves ragged looping the event repeatedly in my mind and, undoubtedly, rapidly accelerating the aging process while I'm at it.

There is the program to design and print, the narrator's script and powerpoint to tweak, the helpers to organize, the food to prepare...etc. Oh, and let's not forget about the music, too.

I'm both singing and playing the piano so it's a double whammy for me this time. As you can see in the picture on the left, I've cut up the scores of the pieces that I'm playing the piano for and pasted them so only the accompaniment is left. That way I won't have to keep frantically flipping pages while trying to avoid adding any odd notes not found in the music.

When all is said (or in this case, sung and played) and done, we can only do our level best and whatever happens happens, right? Yep, I think so, too, so I'd better try to manage my fraying nerves before I stress myself right into a total meltdown just before the concert.

I don't think my fellow group members would appreciate that very much.

So here goes - Sanity Management Crash Course 101. Things you can opt to do when facing emotional crisis:

Plan A: Cheat death by taking snazzy pictures of rush hour traffic while you're driving in rush hour traffic. Like so.

Ha ha. Well, not really. As you can see, this isn't rush hour traffic, and I'm also safely thumb-twiddling at a super long red light.

*fume*

Ok plan B then. Since we're in a 'cheating' mood here, how about drowning our sorrows in vast quantities of 'water cheatnut' beverage?

Lousy plan. I wouldn't drink anything that's so blatantly misspelt and this 'beverage' is merely unattractively-colored sugar syrup anyway.

(teensy digression of notable fact: it was quite funny trying to snap this picture because I didn't want the shop owner to see me in action. So I pretended to be looking at some pictures on the camera and when she was busy preparing the drinks for the other customers I quickly raised my little digital cam surreptiously and snapped. And, you ask, your point is? If you need some spying work done, I'm the guy to call [end digression and shameless self-promotion])

Well, back to the crash course. You know, it's a good thing that I very very recently picked up badminton again - because that's what I've been doing to 'sweat' my stress away. This is Plan C, btw. And it feels great to smack that nearly-bare shuttlecock back and forth while imagining myself playing to a packed stadium at the renowed courts in Wimbledon.

Oh wait. That's tennis, isn't it?

Ha ha. Well, you get the drift.

Now back to smacking the piano keys in my drab reality. Bleah.

This is a shameless advertisement for the upcoming concert by "For The King"!

Friday. 7:30pm. Be there, k?

I'm not exactly clear what happened the past week but I sure ran smack into an impenetrable wall; or a deep and squishy slump. Whatever it was, I was snugly stuck in a writer's rut.

Gosh, you have no idea how many times I tried, but the engine just wouldn't start. It would cough and splutter a few lines of trite and I'd have to trash it in disgust. I didn't know what was happening. My cat could cough up icky hairballs that were more interesting than what my mind could conjure. Argh!

Maybe the blues crept up on me when I watched Eric Khoo's accolade-laden movie 'Be With Me' last week. I liked it; but mostly because it was a sanguine and melancholic piece of depression-inducing art - just the kind of mood I used to love getting myself into through heart-breakingly weepy music or movies of the aforementioned ilk.

Oh, and the fact that I couldn't quite get the look I wanted for the blog sort of got to me, too.

Or maybe it was when I discovered another white hair. I dunno, these things are hard to pin down for sure.

And now that I think about it I realize I haven't actually devised a sure-fire method to lift myself out of the doldrums when it strikes.

Some people engage in retail or food "therapy", but as Singaporeans don't we already do that as a second job? So that doesn't really count.

Maybe videogames, you suggest helpfully. Well, thanks, but RPGs are usually big emotional roller-coaster rides so that would probably be like tying another stone on me as I sink into the murky depths of depression.

Ok so let's see what else was on my 'to-do' list last week besides eat, sleep and wallow in despair.

Well, one thing I did do over the weekend that was actually pretty fun was to exercise.

Yeah, yeah, you can stop rubbing your eyes in disbelief now 'cuz you read that right. Last Saturday I had the chance to play a little badminton, thus making some use of the racket I purchased during last year's trip to Malaysia (aka church camp 04). I had been inspired to pick up badminton by something or someone I can't recall now, but the inspiration obviously didn't sustain itself for my racket has been gracing an office cabinetry for a good 12 months - the poor neglected thing.

So back to last weekend. I was cajoled into a guilt trip to make use of my purchase, and also to start losing a few excess pounds. I grudgingly agreed to humiliate myself in front of my friends with my random ability to actually hit the shuttlecock. I suspected it would take some time to get back into the swing of things, literally speaking, but my limited arsenal of moves came back rather surprisingly swiftly after a few swats. I played a bit, had to stop a bit embarassingly often to catch my breath and missed the darn shuttlecock even more but, hey, I have to start somewhere right?

It felt pretty good at the end of the session even though I didn't push myself very hard. Unfortunately I was 'forced' to eat some fried chicken wings at the end of the day but I refuse to let that ruin my new-found momentum. More on that another time.

So you see, exercise is a good way to give yourself a pick-me-up when it's called for. It's also just as important to have good friends who will haul you kicking and screaming to exercise against your will because they know what's best for you.

Well, occasionally they do.

Now if my legs and arms would quit complaining, I'd get back into the court again. Anyone care to join me this time?

Yes, I know I just changed the look of my blog very recently. But I got really fed up with how buggy the previous one was, even though I liked it very much. Some of you may have realized that with the former template the text often played hide & seek, and the background graphics on the side bar frequently moved to the front, thus obscuring the text again. I thought I could put up with it but I think I shouldn't anymore.

Aesthetics isn't everything, ya?

So anyway, here I am trying to get a fuss-free look going for the blog again. As it turns out, I'm learning a little about HTML as I tinker with the settings. Let me know what you think of this one.

We live in a world where signs scream out subtle commands and orders wherever we turn. We have been so conditioned to accept their self-imposed authority that we don't even have to think about obeying them. But have you ever wondered what the signs are really saying? Here are some examples to get you started:

Whether we care to admit it or not, modern man (and woman) is something of a slave to technology. And life can get really inconvenient, to say the least, when technology decides to stop for a coffee break.

For instance, if all electricity was cut off for a day, I would be unable to update my blog, thus rendering me completely paralysed with despondancy as my sole reason for living would be cruelly taken away.

Or what if all handphones were magically transformed into bananas and we could only communicate via messenger pigeons? Can you imagine the tricky (and messy) task of keeping a cooing pigeon in your pocket or handbag?

And how about if the Playstation didn't exist? I'd have no outlet to punch and kick attactively designed computer-generated people, in which case I'd have to settle for punching and kicking attractively designed real people.

That's totally not cool at all.

This morning, during our church's Anniversary Celebration Service, the LCD projector inexplicably ceased to function. Normally it flashes song lyrics and other pertinent information. Today, the congregation was left staring blankly at an equally blank wall. After a momentary stopping of hearts, there was a mad scramble by the tech personnel to try to rectify the problem while my pastor calmly carried on chairing the service.

Soon it became obvious that this was not a temporary glitch - the projector adamantly refused all desperate efforts to coax it back to operation and the rest of the service had to be conducted without its aid.

Technology is supposed to help us be more efficient right? It's supposed to help us organize our busy lives, communicate with one another, plan and execute our grand ideas.

It's different from, say, sleep. Sleep provides us with rest. As humans, we require sleep for our bodies to rest and repair itself so that we can carry on living another day. In other words, we can't do without sleep (And who better to testify to that than yours truly! Hee, hee...).

On the other hand, technology, at its most basic level, provides us with convenience. So the question is do we require convenience/technology? Sure, we wouldn't die without it (or so I hope!), but so much of our lives depend on and revolve around it that a life without technology would be a completely different sort of existence for most of us.

At the end of the day, can we achieve the same quality of life that we think we have without all the technology we currently wield? Or have we become so entwined with them that losing it would also rob us of part of our identity and purpose?

I'm the last person to complain about technology though. I enjoy sleek new gadgetry, the vast expanse of the Internet and, as alluded to earlier, the fantasy-indulgence of video-games. But what I truly love, as I've come to realize, is the time spent with the people I care about. Ultimately, impacting lives, sharing moments of laughter and sorrow, forging lifelong memories and making beautiful music together are all impulses of the beating human heart.

On its own, technology can't do that, can it?

Because of "Project Buffet" last month, my B&W montage series was stalled as all my limited brain power was harnessed to rapidly digest the incoming deluge of rich food. Fortunately, all good things must come to an end (especially when clothes start getting tight), so to get back on track again, here are some not-terribly-interesting shots taken around Singapore's most famous landmark - the Esplanade.

Have one look, I mean... *grin*

As the resident 'nice guy' within a 100 mile radius, I thought it my civic duty to share the last of my beloved Malaccan pure-butter pineapple tarts with you, my dear friends.

So here they are.

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Everyone knows that all respectable 5-star hotels simply have to have a curvy marble stairway from which to make grand entrances from. Well, here it is, folks! Of course being the notorious klutz that I am, I can already see myself tripping unglamorously down the stairway to the delight of you sadists and ending up in some unflattering pose on the ground to the snapping of every digital camera in the room.

So I'll do the wise thing and leave the dramatic entrances to those more attuned to flair.

I thought the pool deserved a mentioned so here goes: it's not very big, but two cascading waterfalls and lush greenary managed to lend some interest to an otherwise generic facility at most hotels. There's also a wading pool for the kids, and an outdoor jacuzzi for those who like 'prune-ing' themselves in chlorinated water.

After a decent lunch (buffet, of course) at the hotel's cafe, we set out to take a look at some of the attractions Seremban has to offer. Our plan was to find about 2 day activities we could slot into our program so the campers don't start harrassing the hotel staff and other guests out of boredom. Very important plan!

Our first stop was an ostrich farm about 30 mins away from the hotel. The place honestly didn't look like much but it turned out to be really sprawling once we got inside. We were greeted by this cute little doggy upon our arrival.

Aww...don't you just want to bring him home?

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Ostriches are really tall birds. We saw only adult ones and they all towered over us. We were a little afraid of them at first, thinking they might peck out an eye if we got too close, but they were really friendly and equally curious about us as we were about them. The docile birds would sway right up to the fencing and let us pet them!

The helpful guide who showed us around gave us a running commentary on obscure ostrich facts as we strolled through the farm. For instance, did you know that an ostrich egg can withstand 1000 lbs of preassure on its shell? Very useful to know when needing a weapon for self-defence...or when you just want a humungous omelette.

The guide also demonstrated how an ostrich can be ridden. Apparently they (the farm, not the ostriches) give out certificates if you are able to ride one. I wish I had paid for the chance to try that as I've always wanted a motorcycle licence, so I guess an ostrich-riding licence would be the next coolest thing. Remind me next year...

We next stopped at basically the first fruit orchard we came across after bidding the ostriches farewell and discussed with the very friendly owner the feasibility of bringing 150 people to tour his facility, especially the durian plantations. Needless to say, I'm never thrilled with anything pertaining to durians, but the owner seemed delighted and very graciously listened to our plans. He even insisted we accept a crate of green starfruit at the end of the meeting and escorted us back to our hotel despite the horrific rush hour traffic. Very nice guy indeed.

What a wonderful day. Everyone we met was personable and affable - even the animals.

The next day, after gorging ourselves at the hotel's inter-continental breakfast (er, buffet again), we made an essential pit stop at Malacca on the way back home. Why essential, you ask? Well, to rob, steal or beg for Malacca's famous pure-butter pineapple tarts of course. I mean, that's the only good reason Malacca exists right?

Or so I thought, too.

So before we tackled acquiring the tarts, we stopped over at this highly recommended Peranakan restaurant for lunch (yes, you needn't remind me that we just had a huge breakfast, but pigging out was expected of me - surely you understand that?). The restaurant was very quaint and charming, housed in an old Peranakan-style (surprise!) shophouse with ornate doorways and original colorful tiles now faded but rustic. The front of the restaurant was a veritable showcase of all things antiquated in Peranakan culture. What you see below, for instance, is a beautifully carved traditional bridal sedan.

Exquiste craftsmanship and design: hallmarks of Peranakan culture

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I am not normally a rabid fan of Peranakan food but the cuisine at this restaurant must have altered my genetic makeup somehow because I can feel an overwhelming desire to only consume high quality Peranakan food from now on.

Well, not really, but I can say this restaurant comes highly recommended for the best reasons. Everything we tried was excellent, surpassing even my famed marinated sardines stuffed with chocolate chips and chicken bullion cubes in taste and presentation. It was a grudging defeat for me, but, hey, I know when I'm bested and this place certainly has what it takes.

Well, after the exquisite lunch we cruised a few streets down to pick up the freshly-baked, melt-in-your-mouth but artery-clogging pineapple tarts. Sigh, why does anything which tastes good make you fat or send you to an early grave? We left the shop reluctantly before ploughing our way through molasses-like traffic to hit the expressway. Once there, it was smooth sailing all the way back to home sweet home.

Ah, now to finish my haul of pineapple tarts before anyone else catches sight of them...