I was in a sweet mood this morning. Now don't misunderstand and start imagining me in an impossible state. What I mean is that I had a hankering for something sweet.
So before setting off on my usual trot to work, I made a teeny detour to an equally teeny neighborhood store. You know, the kind which crams as much merchandise as possible into the space of a storeroom while the shopkeeper stares listlessly at the mini-television on a dusty shelf. I was looking specifically for the new blackcurrent-flavored mentos but, as I expected, they were all snapped up leaving only the evidently inferior orange and citrus mix. But, wait, *double -take*, gasp, do my eyes deceive me?
This is what is meant by serendipity, folks! If you take the time to search for something good, you might just find something great! In this case, there's nothing greater than the hallowed combination of chocolate and peanut butter in a chunky Kit-Kat bar.
*swoon*
Lately, Nestle really went all out in revamping their Kit-Kat line. In addition to the well-known regular 4 finger slab, there's chunky, white, mint, orange, strawberry, cappucino, espresso and now, the ultimate marriage in chocolate-dom, peanut-butter.
Someone at Nestle deserves a huge raise!
Just in case you are unaware, I love chocolate and peanut-butter together. So it was with pure unadulterated relish that I unwrapped this candy that could launch a thousand ships. And when I finally had the bar of sin sitting snugly in my tum-tum where it belongs, I started thinking about how change is vital to keep something fresh, and in turn, wanted. For some reason Singaporeans dislike sameness in their lives. We are constantly looking out for all things new and innovative.
I recalled an interview with an Italian restaurant-manager now based locally was featured in the Straits Times a few months back. He said that he had to constantly evaluate and concoct new items for the menu because Singaporeans expect novelty. He lamented the lack of tradition in our culture and gave the example of how Italians would return to the same restaurant for 20 years because the food doesn't change.
Do we really always expect something new and different all the time, I wondered?
Well, yes and no. Would I eat only regular Kit-Kat bars for the next 20 years? Probably not. Would I use my current laptop for the next 20 years (barring the fact that technology only lasts the lifespan of most insects)? Probably not either. Would I wear the same clothes for 20 years? Ugh, I definitely would not and I know you don't want me to either.
I guess, like most Singaporeans, I like variety and choice.
But, in the same breath, I do like certain things to remain unchanged. I enjoy listening to music that touches me, even if I have heard it all my life. I like watching my favorite movies over and over, even when I can recite almost every line. I like playing my favorite RPGs every so often, even when I know what will happen next. And I love re-reading books that I find enjoyable and significant, even when I know how it ends.
So what's the happy medium between progress and tradition?
Variation! And if it's a variation on an old fav, like the venerable Kit-Kat, well, that's ideal marketing because you've got a clever fusion of cultivated taste and fresh style, thus ensuring a longer lasting appeal with finicky consumers.
And you know what? The good folks at Nestle sure hit the sweet spot with this one!
An old black box has been sitting stoically in a corner of our house for many years. I know it belongs to me, but I can't recall what I'd placed in it. My mom would ask me from time to time to discard it but I kept putting it off because I had been busy with important projects like saving the world...etc.
So last night I finally decided to demystify this black box of intrigue. I fumbled with the rusted latch and it creaked open reluctantly. I peeled back the cover hesitantly, half-expecting a colony of creepy-crawlies to launch an assault on me. Imagine my surprise when I found old letters and cards that I had saved from many years back instead.
I immediately hauled the box to my room where I dug its contents out and excitedly spread them over my bed, forming a paper kaleidoscope of colors, shapes and sizes. There were aerograms, postcards, birthday cards, letters, notes... and they were from once-special friends in my past. I couldn't believe I had saved these little remnants of those relationships.
I spent the next few hours poring over the letters and cards. The most recent ones were nearly a decade old. Memories that I thought had died came flooding back as I read each handwritten 
thought and wish. Many brought a smile to my face as I revisited the bygone days of each friendship - the joys, tears, hopes, dreams and fears all laid bare in carefully penned ink.
But what of them now? Where have all the lofty aspirations of an eternity as friends dissipated to? These people have all fallen off my radar and are now somewhere in the world, living lives and making choices that have absolutely nothing to do with me. I suddenly felt like I was reading the intimate thoughts of strangers.
That realization brought a lump to my throat.
How little we understand of life in the egotistic centricity of youth, brimming over with passionate abandonment for tomorrow and her promises! As the reality of today gradually sinks in, the ties that are connected by dreams that can never come true atrophy into nothingness.
It's as if they were never there at all.
Except this black box has preserved their memory for me all these years - and now, I will have to release them back to the faded dreams on which they were once built on.
A gentle rain fell from the pale grey skies;
she is ready to be sent home.
The hearts of the living strain at the ties
that should never become unknown.
The love that she showed in her days in the sun
is returned by the silent crowd;
now composed of tears and regret come undone
for the time she has ceased to give out.
Her name, on a stone marking where she will rest,
will be all that remains on this earth.
But, we know a new life, for enduring the test,
has embraced her in Heaven above.
My usual lunch buddies were MIA today.
On Saturdays, I usually have a gang of face-stuffing professionals with me as we raid the nearby food centers during lunch. It's always a fun time; catching up with one another, arguing over non-issues and, of course, rating the food we eat. Well, I guess it was bound to happen one day that all of them would not be available.
One of them is having a good time in Malaysia visiting his grandparents and uncle. Another one is having an equally good time turning down lunch because he has to study. Another one is about to have a great time at a mysterious lunch appointment, and yet another is having the best time saying she's not hungry.
But never fear, for there are two others today (who are not normally in this lunching crowd) who agree to accompany me - but to add insult to injury, I get into their car ONLY to have them tell me they desperately need to go someplace far off that I can't go because I need to be back in the office by a certain time.
So where did all that abandonment leave me? Well, unceremoniously dumped by the roadside blinded and choking in car exhaust as they sped off.
Sigh. Covered with soot, I trudged to the nearest MacDonald's where I intended to shorten my lifespan by ordering one of their popular meals. The ever-attentive staff sprang up to the counter with glinting grins as I approached and coerced me (in the most friendly way, I might add) to order a Fillet-O-fish meal with, gasp... curly fries? Yes, you heard that right. Macs has now added ultra springy and seasoning-coated curly fries on the menu! I love them! Too bad their burgers are still kinda blah (but that's just what I think).
So despite the fact that I believe fast food is really, really bad for the body, I ended up enjoying my lunch in a masochistic way after all.
Ever had one of those days where suddenly everything happens? You know, where the things you have to do triple and you find yourself scrambling to keep up before you get fired?
Well, this is one of those dreaded days for me.
Ok so it started yesterday, but it's more or less under control now. And of course, being the astute audience that you are, you'd know that the reason it's under control is because I've had to wrench myself away from this blog. So you must be wondering,
"Why on earth are you here again if the work isn't done yet?! Get cracking, you no-good, lazier than a hibernating bear of a bum!"
Now, now, just calm down. I'm just taking a widdle break. A MUCH deserved one, I might add, after the frantic frenzy of the morning. Ahh, now I'm just easing the tension a little, sipping a cup of soothing camomile tea in my bright orange mug and just spacing out in general as I do 85% of the time.
*low whisper: the other 15% is usually spent eating or sleeping*
OK, WHO DIVULGED THAT?
Whatever. I've come to realize how important breaks are in my life - I don't know how people can slog at the same thing for years and think it's perfectly normal. Maybe you can condition your mind and body to believe that. Or you have a gigantic paycheck carrot. Or you have no paycheck carrot. Hmm, there are lots of motivating factors, aren't there?
Well, I need my space and the freedom to do something different every so often- to wander away from the routine and just enjoy being me. I think that's vital to good mental health. Some of you will be quick to point out that the state of my mental health is in dire need of long-term professional help; well, just imagine what life will be like for you if I were working 24/7!
So anyway, learn to take a deep breath and reward yourself with something from time to time. Savor Godiva by the beach, listen to your favorite artiste, SMS a good friend or post something intelligent on my blog. The possibilities are yours. So enjoy it.
Or least, try to!
Having a new look on the blog must be an inspiring experience as I'm ready to post again. It's not even past an hour yet! But already here is a sagely thought for contemplation.
Many moons ago, I came across this wonderful saying in a Christian resource magazine which I knew would be an important reminder for me in the ensuing years. I typed it out in some weird font which I thought was cool then, printed it on a boring piece of A4 paper and gleefully laminated it. Today it's still stubbornly blutacked to my cubicle partition. Here is what it proclaims:
"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. Circumstance and situations do color life, but you have been given the mind to choose what the color shall be" John Homer Miller
I can't count the number of times I recited this (not the whole paragraph, just the essence) to myself when I was seeing nothing but boiling scarlet. Over time, the distance between red to green gradually closed. Green, btw, is what I associate with tranquility and calm - think gently swaying foliage overhead, a bubbling brook by the side and cool grass under your bare feet.
Today, I have a much better grip on my once-volatile emotions. And I am also reminded that it takes a strong person to hold back in the heat of explosive anger. Maybe it's age, but I like to think it's wisdom.
So choose your color wisely!
Ok so there must have been too much lucidity last night since I can't see or think too clearly this morning.
I was curious about how some of the templates would look on my blog so I thought I would preview them. Click, click, click. I was sure I didn't save over anything; but lo and behold, there was a jaw-droppingly unexpected hideosity to my blog when I opened the page and all the pertinent stuff on the side bar that I created was lost for ever and ever in cyberspace!
So after resisting the impulse to scream in agony and eat fried chicken (they always occur together), I realized the quicker I snapped back to my senses (not that there's very much) the better it would be. So I reattached my jaw, took a deep breath and set about making right what I unwittingly made icky.
And since I had to redo the site I thought I might as well give it a new look. So there you have it. Same valuable insights and ground breaking content in a spiffy new outfit. Neat huh?
Spending real quality time with close friends is one of those luxuries in life we rarely get to enjoy. That's why I'm so glad I had a chance this evening to sit down with two good friends for a meal (a really big meal...too big, in fact); and to just talk about everything and nothing in particular. Over the endless helpings of gluttonous proportions, hours flew by swiftly as we candidly shared experiences, rambled about ideas, exchanged silly jokes and just laughed at each other and at ourselves.
Completely at ease. Open and vulnerable. The usual walls are gone. Why can't I feel like this naturally?
A lucid moment like this along the fuzzy road of life is what I really look forward to for it brings a measure of quiet truth and, ironically, crystal-clear sanity to all the madness we otherwise face. Here's to many more such moments in the years ahead! Thanks for the memories.
Hurray! One of my (few) birthday presents this year from two thoughtful friends is a beautiful book on an introduction to digital photography. Now I can embark on a perilous quest to be the most sought-after photographer in the history of mankind!
As a videogame, my new adventure sounds suspiciously like a lame rip-off of the tried and proven Pokemon phenomenon. As one of my many impractical fantasies, this is completely reasonable and achievable. As an idea rooted in reality, it's ludicrous enough to invoke days of howling laughter in even myself. So there.
Well it was nice pretending for the duration of a sentence!
Anyway, real life beckons so it's back down from the clouds: I've flipped through the book and I see that there is a lot for me to absorb and understand; there will be a dire need to begin some assiduous in-depth study. Hopefully, as I attempt to apply the principles in my future award-winning snaps I will also have loads of fun along the way. The concept is still murky but I'm contemplating a gallery exhibition next year even though there's a high chance I will be legally barred from approaching a picture-taking device forever and also be banished to where electricity is yet unheard of.
Hmm... tough one.
Today was a slow day that I was savouring. I got up late, almost 10:30pm, had a quick breakfast and casually flipped through the papers before setting about to reply to the SMSes that had flooded in since dawn. Mostly birthday wishes, too! I didn't even know I had that many friends.
After that I decided to catch a movie at Tampines so planned to be there at noon. Needless to say, I got stuck in front of the computer and didn't leave the house till 2pm. I am always amazed at how time just FLIES when you're in front of the computer, but let's save that amazement for another groundbreaking post some other time, shall we?
I arrived at Tampines and wandered around Challenger for a bit, hoping to spy a gift for a friend. No luck. I headed to Century Square where I purchased one ticket for 'Charlie & the Chocolate Factory' and meandered in a dazed fashion till about 3pm.
The happy ending finally rolls and the lights fade on. I sort of liked it. The cinema erupts into a low excited chatter as I stretch and try not to hobble too obviously on my way out; I tell ya, getting older is just...I mean, it must have been the, erm, lousy seats! Yeah! I will be writing a strongly-worded letter of complaint to the management soon. *insert appalled expression and indignant tone of voice* How can they expect the paying public to put up with such sub-standard seats?
*replace appalled espression with one of serene and radiant kindness* Well, this being my birthday I suppose I can let it slide...
So anyway, I had arranged to meet my parents at the basement of Tampines Mall outside Crystal Jade Restaurant at 6pm. The time after the movie was 4:50. Yippie, I could shuffle around the vicinity and blend in with the kids in school uniforms. And it's a good thing I did (shuffle around, I mean) because I ended up buying a pair of Springfield jeans that I'm actually glad to own. I had been wanting to get a pair of jeans for the longest time, but because most jeans that are available are kinda blah (sorry to all you blah jean-lovers out there) I had held off for the day that one unique pair would catch my eye. Well that day finally arrived - this one was interesting in its cut, stitching and color so I bought it without much hesitation. That really made me happier than a Fiona Xie fan crashing into Fiona Xie at the hawker center while carrying 4 bowls of laksa on a tray; until I remembered I still had not found the gift yet!
I headed down to the restaurant as it was nearing 6pm and met my parents there. We had a nice quiet meal together as is fairly typical of most of our meals, except this was in a place where I couldn't just show up in a pair of shorts without someone calling the police in a panic. We were fairly early so the place wasn't too crowded yet, the service was prompt and efficient, and the food was delicious. It was a very satisfactory dining experience.
After that I had to return to church for FTK rehearsal. The people in this group are good singers, but pretty lousy actors so I knew that they were scheming something for after the practice but I just pretended to be oblivious to their lift-file-to-cover-face-while-whispering level of conspiracy. It was all very sweet of them, of course; and they genuinely had me curious when they all surrounded me with evil-looking metal spoons before bursting into a badly sung "Happy Birthday"because it was in the wrong key. I thought they were going to gouge my internal organs out to fulfill an ancient birthday ritual involving me, a few million dollars and a lifetime of fame; but it turned out they brought premium ice-cream for the occasion - Chocolate-Chip Cookie Dough by Ben & Jerry's and Strawberry Cheesecake by Haagen Daaz. Eventually I received an equally evil-looking spoon, too, so I was relieved I didn't have to eat ice-cream in a barbarous manner with bare hands. Yum!
After that I went on home and heaved a contented sigh as I sank into my comfy leather chair in front of the computer. Looks like I'm going to be here a while, so before I forget: a big THANK YOU to everyone who sent me birthday greetings and/or gifts. I really appreciate them.
And if you haven't sent anything yet, I gladly accept belated gifts with a generous and forgiving spirit :)