the only constant is change

here are some portrait shots of the family and friends of the birthday boy, rui.

it's been a long time since i've seethed in a thoughtless comment shot from a thoughtless individual.

how can mere words contain such debilitating poison?

much as i am in the training to be the bigger person and display magnanimity, the awful truth is i possess neither the capacity nor desire to do so.

and a wounded day bleeds away.

"you look troubled", rui had intoned evenly.

it was a quiet revelation to hear someone else articulate into words how i have been feeling.

such are the truths that our own eyes are blinded to for better or for worse.

today, up above, a pale greyness loomed over me.

i guess we can't always have everything we desire, perhaps more so when we are without inkling to what they truly are.

by beyonce


listen, to the song here in my heart,
a melody i start but can’t complete.
listen, to the sound from deep within,
it’s only beginning to find release.
oh, the time has come for my dreams to be heard.
they will not be pushed aside and turned into your own,
all 'cause you won’t listen.

listen, i am alone at a crossroad,
i’m not at home in my own home.
and i’ve tried and tried to say what’s on my mind.
you should have known.

oh, now i’m done believing you,
you don’t know what i’m feeling.
i’m more than what you’ve made of me,
i followed the voice you gave to me.
but now i gotta find my own.

you should have listened.

there is someone here inside;
someone i thought had died so long ago.
oh,i’m screaming out and my dreams will be heard.
they will not be pushed aside and turned into your own,
all 'cause you won’t listen.

i don’t know where i belong but I’ll be moving on
if you don’t, if you won’t listen
to the song here in my heart.
a melody i start but i will complete.

oh, now i’m done believing you.
you don’t know what i’m feeling.
i’m more than what you’ve made of me,
i followed the voice you think you gave to me.
but now I gotta find my own.

a compact camera produces pictures of very different feel than a dslr. i'm finding that i have to relearn many aspects of photography.

i'm enjoying it, though. here are two more outdoor pictures.

having spent a little bit more time with the new cam, i'm finding it relatively easy to use. reponse is quick, colors are bright and vibrant, and details are superb for a point & shoot.

here's a demo shot. you can click on it for a larger view.

i used to enjoy the peace that solitude brings. by severing all that chained me to this pulsing world, i could suspend myself in my mind and soak up the sense of freedom and possibility.

there, i could race with the wind and explore the ocean depths.

frozen in time until life yanks me back.

i can't do that anymore.

how do you behave around someone who reminds you acutely of another person - one that brings out the worst in you?

my head knows the right thing to do, but the heart defiantly beats a will all its own.

am i ready to extricate myself from this wreckage?

or more realistically, will i ever be?